Survivor Pearl Islands Insider Episode 11 Yahoo Platinum

CBS and Yahoo must have heard my complaints. (I hear Mark Burnett gets up every Friday morning with his cup of prune juice to read my Survivor Insider transcripts). There are nine Insider clips this week! Woo hoo! Of course two are just the challenges you see on the show, but it's better than FIVE AND SIX the past two weeks. PLUS...we got one of the BEST Darrah videos! Then again, it took me two and a half hours to do the transcript!

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TRIBAL COUNCIL VOTING -- CHRISTA BOOTED
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Markopolo's note: This show has deteriorated. I thought the people on Big Brother were dumb, well MB has come up with some big, dumb idiots ...it boggles the mind. No wonder this is the No. 1 show on TV now. What's next? Trista Rehn as a contestant? Jessica Simpson? Keanu Reeves?

Jon (votes Christa): Love it, hate it, but learn to live with it, cuz it's the best thing going today. Woo! (RIC FLAIR...ISN'T HE LIKE 80 YEARS OLD?)

Sandra (votes Lil): Lill, we've had our differences. Or shall we say I've always been the one to disrespect you and you've always treated me with kindness. This is totally strategic because I'd hate to go up against you. You're too much of a kind person and I know they'd just hand you the money and I can't have that happen. Adios. (I HATE YOU...I HATE YOU....OH BUT YOU'VE BEEN SO NICE TO ME THAT I HAVE TO VOTE YOU OUT. SERIOUSLY, SANDRA NEEDS SOME ANGER-MANAGEMENT. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT WOMAN WHO RAN OVER THE MCDONALD'S MANAGER BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T GET MAY ON HER BURGER? I THOUGHT IT WAS SANDRA FOR A SECOND.)

Christa (votes Lil): Uhhh, hopefully everybody else is doing the same thing and voting for you. You're too nice. Bye. (UHHH...I HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO PLAY THIS GAME.)

Lill (votes Krista): LILLIAN...SPELLING BEE CHAMPION. Outside of this game, you and I could be really good friends. But you've become just more of a threat physically. So I'm writing your name down now. (VERY HARD TO HEAR HER BECAUSE THE WIND IS GOING AT LIKE 40 MILES AN HOUR).

Burton (votes Christa): This is purely a strategic vote. You're a real strong competitor. And I've got to keep going in the game. (BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY DON'T NEED YOUR HELP TO GET BOOTED NEXT WEEK.)

Darrah (votes Christa): Christa, I'm voting for you because this is what my alliance came up with I know we had differences but it was great getting to know you. (I ACTUALLY SHOWED UP IN THIS EPISODE BUT ONLY BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MY ALLIANCE CAME UP WITH.)

SURVIVOR PEARL ISLAND IDIOT RANKINGS
Tabulated by Jeff Probst's mood swings and BCS computers
(Last week's rankings in parentheses)

1. Christa 10,000 POINTS (6)
"Uhh...I hope everyone's voting for someone else."
"I don't know who the hell Brutus is."

2. Lillian 9,999 POYINTES (1)
Note the spelling of points.

3. Darrah 9,998 POINTS (2)
"I will just trust Jon, because even though he lies, he tells the truth."

4. Burton 5,000 POINTS (3)
"Uhhh, yeah"

5. Jon 50 POINTS (4)
"My grandpa died, too."

6. Sandra 10 POINTS (5)
"With Christa gone, who do I blame my stealing on?"


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ET TU, CHRISTA?
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Clip description: "If I was Caesar, would you be my Brutus?" Sandra asked her closest friend, Christa. Was Christa ready to stab her friend in the back? Find out now!

Markopolo's note: This clip is entertaining, but I guess it had no relevance because Sandra and Christa stuck together. At least we know where the title comes from.


(SCENES OF BURTON FISHING...SANDRA AND CHRISTA AT CAMP)

Christa (to Sandra): Ya know, I've never talked to Burton like that before.

Sandra: Mmm hmm.

Christa: So I feel like that if he feels he can be comfortable around me, maybe it might help.

Sandra: Who started the conversation over there, you did?

Christa: (nods yes)

Sandra: I want to know everything. (AND YOU'RE ASKING CHRISTA?)

Christa: I was like, let me tell you about Darrah and why you shouldn't take her to the final four. She's the biggest threat here. And regardless, she won immunity. Ya know, like. (GLANCES TO SEE IF BURTON IS STILL FISHING). She may not be the smartest person, but regardless, she is capable of winning. Ya know?

Sandra: (nods).

Sandra (confessional): Without Darrah gone, I can't move another step. Me and Christa, we've been tight since Day 2 or 3. But today I let her have it. I was like you know, if she doesn't show me loyalty, I'm going to have to feed her to the sharks too. (SCARY MUSIC PLAYS AS SANDRA IS FIXING CHRISTA'S HAIR).

Sandra (to Christa): If I were Caesar would you be my Brutus? (CHRISTA LAUGHS). I'm asking you a question. I'm asking you yes or no?

Christa: If what?

Sandra: If I were Caesar today would you be my Brutus?

Sandra (confessional): I wouldn't doubt one bit if Christa turned on me. I wouldn't doubt one bit if anyone here would turn on someone else. She knows that to save my skin, I would sacrifice her. So why not do the same thing in return?

Sandra (to Christa): Eh tu, Brute?

Christa: Sure

Sandra: So yes?

Christa: I don't know who the hell Brutus is.

Sandra (shrugs): Ugh. (laughs).



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DARRAH'S NERVES
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Clip description: After returning from Tribal Council where Tijuana was voted out of the tribe, Darrah's vulnerability grew as she realized her best friend was gone. How does she deal with her reality?

Markopolo's note: WOW!!!!! One of the best videos of the year. How did Darrah save her butt? By crying and letting Burton and Jon use her. (Doesn't it usually happen the other way around?)


Burton (to tribe at night walking back from TC): I have to say I was wondering if I would ever walk this beach again. I'm happy to be here.

Jon (confessional): Burton is someone I want here for awhile because he's one of my biggest allies. Despite the fact that there was no way to save him, once again I figured out a way to save him. I went to the two people who hated me the most and said, "Look I may be evil, but T's twice as evil as me. Go with the evil you know as opposed to the evil you don't know." I thought it was a good idea.

(SCENES OF DARRAH AT NIGHT)

Darrah (confessional): The five of the alliance intends to vote Burton. Then it went four votes T and two for Burton and I was shocked.

Burton (confessional): I saw Darrah's jaw drop about three inches when they read the vote.

(SCENE OF BURTON PUTTING INSECT STUFF ON DARRAH'S BACK)

Burton (confessional): So we get back to camp, and Darrah immediately says, "I need to talk to you."

Darrah (to Burton): So what I wanted to tell you was "personally, you may not believe me, but I really didn't want you to go."

Burton (confessional): Then she starts to get emotional and crying. Real or fake I don't know.

Darrah (to Burton): I'm getting emotional because I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I was trying to tell T that you should stay.

Darrah (confessional): I was just telling pretty much the truth ya know. What do I have to lose.

Burton (to Darrah): It was kind of clear that between you and T, she was making most of the decisions.

Darrah: (nods).

Burton: I think she was wheeling her power too much in people's faces. It came back to bite her in the ass, otherwise (inaudible)

Darrah: I'm fine with that. I'm not upset that she was sent home. What I wanted to ask you is, is it all you all against me. (Inaudible--something like get rid of them...meaning Christa and Sandra and if I'm next, I'm totally cool with that).

Burton (confessional): She basically starts pleading with me, vote me off fourth, I don't care, just as long as I stay longer than Christa and Sandra. I don't how much I believe that she would be satisfied with fourth. But it did put me in a position of having a little power over her, because I can play her against Christa and Sandra.

Darrah: If you talk to Jon, it can still be us.

Burton: yeah

Darrah: And get those two gone. And I'll be the next one gone. I'm OK with that.

Jon (confessional): She was basically backpedaling to save her butt. And she's next to go.

Darrah (to Burton): Thank you (gives him a hug).

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JON'S LIE CONTINUES
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Clip description: How does Jon feel about faking the death of his grandma? Find out as Insider takes you to the Balboa tribe where Jon reveals all!

Markopolo's note: Jon thinks he's sooooo funny. Yet, he's not funny at all. Kinda like that Yakov Smirnoff guy or Stuart Scott on SportsCenter. But he is entertaining to listen to, because you kinda laugh at how pathetic he is.


Jon (confessional): It was kind of fun at tribal council talking about my grandmother in that I'm not sure that Jeff knows the deal (laughs). Jeff plays a little game of what I call "Encyclopedia Brown" at every tribal council to try to play the game along with everyone else. And, uh, I don't think he knows. He's kind of fishing around. He says," hey did everyone get the info. Jon said he had a lot of questions. And Jon did you get the answers to those questions." And I said yeah. And then he asked, "Hey, did Jon relay those questions to everyone else?"

And I think everyone kinda skipped over that part of the question and they were just like, "yeah Jon told us that his friend got to meet all of our loved ones and they were going to go see the panama canal," and all the other stuff. And they kind of skipped over the part about the fact that I haven't mentioned a lot about the actual death and all that.

So it's kinda fun. It's kind of taken a life of its own in amusement for me.

CUT

I love the constant reminder of the grandma. Cuz I think, as planned, it's going to help me jury-wise later. So the more reminders of it is good for me. However, I don't want to be the one to bring it up and throw in people's faces. So if it's mentioned by others, I feel is a good thing to my chances of winning.

CUT

I had so much fun in celebrating the reward last night as I was explaining to D and Lill that Christa made me swear on my grandmother's grave that I would carry Christa and Sandra to the final four. And I told them today that it took so much for me to do that. And Lill looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, "How hard is that for you." And I was like, "my grandmother loved Survivor. It was one of her favorite shows. And one of her last wishes is that I win. So, I think she'd say 'OK. I'm OK with that.'" And Lill said, "I think she's looking down right now and saying OK."

(Jon laughs hysterically).

CUT

I may burn in hell. But ya know what, I think that the people that don't do anything bad like me are boring anyways and who wants to hang out with them to begin with (laughs at himself again).

CUT

I don't feel any remorse about the grandma thing. I think it's great. Hopefully, it gets me a mil. I'll take Granny out for some hotcakes or something. (laughs again).

CUT

There's a word in the English language called, "naive." And some people are that. And obviously those people are playing this game. I'm glad they filled out the application (laughs yet again).

CUT

I think the fact that I appear so easy to beat jury wise, that they don't want to accept the fact that I could be lying. I think I am such an easy win in their minds at the end that they just want to think this is the one time I'm telling the truth and that I will choose them to be that person to beat. Cuz I'm easy pickins as compared to everyone. Everyone sees a win in every other person. Lill's so nice. Burton's a fisherman. Sandra's honest. D doesn't piss people off. Everyone sees one reason or another that they can't beat that person.

CUT

There is no way, no how, no anything that this guy can win. This is the guy I want to go against. And they just have to hope that I think the same way with them.

CUT

If I get blindsided, then congratulations. You outplayed the best player in this game.


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CHRISTA, THE DAY AFTER
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Clip description: Christa became the 11th member of SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS ousted on night 33. Insiders visit Christa the day after, as she explains what she learned from her adventure of a lifetime.

Markopolo’s note: Someone alert the authorities! Christa has drugs. She is obviously on drugs when she is doing this interview. I mean, can anyone be that flaky?

Christa (day-after interview): The Survivor experience is, well, uh, let's just say very brainwacking. It hurts your head. You're delirious. You think you've gone nuts (YA THINK?) You learn what it's like to sleep outside for days and not really fear spiders crawling on you at night and crabs on your face (JUST ON YOUR FACE, CHRISTA?). You don't care about too much. You don't care about how you look. All you care about, and it's a no-brainer, is surviving and eating and just getting through each day. That's really what it is. uhh, I made a couple good friends along the way that are pretty cool, interesting people. I don't like to surround myself with stupid-ass people. Umm, and I'm glad I'm not there right now to continue to be surrounded by some of those
stupid-ass people. In fact, some of them are here right now (WOW, YA THINK SHE'S TALKING ABOUT RYAN?). I like myself a lot. I have learned that I want to become a baker slash chef. You find some new careers when you're out starving and all you do is think about food because these pathetic people that you're staying with, that's all they talk about is food. And you get sucked into it. And then you decide I want to be a chef. But now it's just all the time because all I've eaten is protein the past 30 days, I don't want to become a chef anymore. (laughs). That was my immediate thought leaving the island. Now I want it as far from me as possible.

I've learned that life is very simple. You don't need much to live. Every day we're bombarded with marketing and capitalism, especially in the U.S., ya know. This is the way you have to be and this is the way you have to think and blah blah blah. (OK MOBY). To live in society you have to do a few of those things but most of them are pretty unnecessary. And it doesn't matter what people think about you, I had already realized that coming into this game; it sort of solidified that. I just don't care what people think about me, especially here. People are trying to get ahead and try to win the game and they're talking a lot about you. But it just didn't really bother me all that much. Maybe a couple days it bothered me. But I am just as stronger person. I know who I am. I just don't need to surround myself with idiots that have nothing else better to do than make fun of people.


CUT

LAUGHS...I like Rupert, but he's a very grumpy old man. He's very pissed off at the world. (laughs). It’s funny, I had to leave him when he started talking about this whole game and I just try not to mention it, and somehow it always seems to pop up and I was like, "man shut up I can't deal with you anymore." And he got all mad at me because I tell him to shut up. And I'm just like fine. All right. Obviously you're not the company I want to hang out with.

I like Sandra. She's pretty funny. She's kind of pretty much opposite of what I am. But she's so funny. She's kind of bold and says it how it is, which is pretty much how I am so I respect that. But it's funny, we had this one conversation about her taking her kids to national parks and I was like, "dude, you should take your kids and go see Yosemite, hang out for a weekend. Take em on a road trip down the coast." And she's like, "Why would I go see rocks and stuff like that and trees?."

And I'm like, "because it's cool. That’s what I like growing up."

HIPPY ALERT! HIPPY ALERT! DUDE, YA GOTS SOM BUD?

And she's like, "Grand Canyon? I don't want to go see rocks and donkeys and stuff."

I can't convince the woman to get out of her normal mode. And she seems to be an American person who just stays in their modes, and it's just like, "god, I'm so happy I have this perspective so I'll never be like you in life."

OK, DON'T GET ME STARTED DUMBO. TAKE YOUR ROCK-LOVING, ACID-TAKING HIPPYNESS AND GO BACK TO 1968.

Anyhow, she's like, "I'll take my kids to Disneyland, but that's about it. That's a vacation ya know."

But I'll probably talk to Sandra, she's pretty funny. Other than that, I could care less about the people out here. If I never talk to them again, I wouldn't be missing out on anything. It’s funny. I spent all this time with these people and you don't even know what to talk about (MAYBE YOU CAN GET HIGH TOGETHER?). I mean, I think it's like that with everyone in your life. Even my man at home. If I was around him 24 hours a day, 30 days straight, I mean what the hell would you talk about after awhile? UHHHH IT'S CALLED MARRIAGE.

You always need your own time. This is my little vacation time now. I'm psyched that I get this time for six days. So I can recover. Try to feel good. Just be out here and enjoy. Not thinking too much. I'm braindead. (SHE SAID IT, NOT ME). And just relax. Start making clothes. Get my energy up. Try to motivate. Then I'll go home, we'll figure out when I get there.

CUT

I think I would have practiced becoming a better liar. I'm real bad at it. I don't know if that's a bad thing or good thing. But everyone else seemed really good at it. I think I would have practiced coming up with stories (UHH CHRISTA, SOMEONE ALREADY THOUGHT OF THAT ONE). That's something I should have done better -- not trusting people so much. I was so afraid to lie, and be caught with that lie. I mean even Sandra told me one time, when I told Burton I would double-cross her. And Sandra's like, you would never double-cross me, would ya? And I was like I couldn't even look at her in the f***in eyes. I just told her no dude I would never do that (laughs).

It's like you just get finished talking about this stuff with somebody and my voice just becomes high pitched and I'm like, "I could never do that to you Sandra. You're my best friend." (EXCEPT YOU DON'T LIKE ROCKS).

...

I wish I could have been more bold, because usually I am, but I was trying to be more political. When Jon's friend came for that reward challenge, I should have tagged him out. I told Sandra, "Let’s get rid of him." Cuz he's an ass and I hate him. But no, of course I go with Darrah and I go with Burton's mom. Jon's friend could have been tagged out. It could have been better. I tell Sandra to do it and I'm the one who fails with the plan, cuz I was like, well, maybe I should be nice. Screw him! I should have just followed through. It was like the coconuts and people's troughs. I was like. I should have followed through. At tribal council I was asked all these questions and I was trying to be nice. Just say it.

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CHRISTA'S FINAL WORDS
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Christa (after TC): I have learned so much about myself. One thing I think of in particular I have decided on a new career. I want to become a baker, a chef. (Laughs). Which is great. I've been wanting something new to do for when I get back home. Just to change. And I've learned that I don't need much in my life. I appreciate everything I have. My wonderful fiancé, my mother my sister. Really, that's all I need. I don't need a bunch of luxuries in life. Even though it's nice to have a bunch of materialistic stuff, it's nice to know that I can survive with not to much, just love and peace in my heart and confidence in myself.


CUT

I am going to take just my love and happiness and satisfaction life is and the way people are and take it back home and show it with my family and friends and let them know that I'm still the same old Christa. Nothing's really changed. I'm more confident in my morals than I've ever been. I'm stronger than I've ever been. And show em that I care for them more than anything.

CUT

The one thing that surprised me the most out here was how well people can lie. I'm amazed at how well people can lie. I guess they call it acting. I just feel like I've been able to understand people my whole life and be able to read them rather well. And it's really surprising how everybody out here has completely fooled me. At every moment of this entire game. 99.99 percent of the time I've been a fool. I've been lied to my face and I've believed it every single time. It's just crazy to think that if I go back home, do I believe anyone? Except for trust in myself and my family and friends. People are liars everywhere. I'm sure it's not just here. I need to watch out for that back home.


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A VIEW TO REMEMBER
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Clip description: You saw three lucky Castaways win a luxurious Reward away from camp. Watch as Insider takes you back to Lill, Jon and Darrah's adventure of a lifetime as they board the plane and fly over the majestic and breathtaking Pearl Islands.

Markopolo's note: When the title said, "A View to Remember," I got all excited thinking Elizabeth Filarski was going to take off her clothes on the show, but then I remembered this is not the View, it's Survivor. Anyway, this clip is the same clip as what the show had.