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Episode 14

So we lost Shii Ann last week. I am very sad.

Oh yeah. Me too.

She did go out fighting. I reminded of the Alamo. Which I heard was a terrible movie, by the way.

It was nowhere near as terrible as "The Butterfly Effect." Remember that one? It'll be just like "Back to the Future!"

We should have just compared movie posters. The posters make it clear they are NOT the same kind of movie...

But anyway, I was comparing Shii Ann's valiant efforts to those who perished fighting for the Alamo. "Remember the Shii Devil!"

WhatEVER.

Hmm. Doesn't have quite the same emotion stirring effect, does it? Think I offended a bunch of Texans with that comment?

It stirs something, alright!

Let's move on. There are only two episodes left. Seems like a good time to look back and see how we've done so far this season.

Gee. How sporting of you.

Corvis's Total Correct: 10

Shaba's Total Correct: 8

Eight correct is darned good for someone who deadzoned Spoilers for most of the season. I'm pretty darned proud of my record. Well, most of it anyway.

And let's go back even further to our preseason picks. I picked Jenna to win it all.

That's still possible as she is one of the Final Five.

If Jenna wins, I'll post a pic of the body part of your choice on the internet.

I cannot wait to see that. Let's see who Shaba picked to win it all... oh, look. Alicia.

I guess that didn't work out for you, huh?

Now how did I know that was coming?

I do have to give you credit though.

This should be good.

You have the Robfather in the Final Two with Alicia. So you could still get one out of two right. And I had Shii Ann with Jenna, so the best I can do is one out of two, too. See how nice and fair I am?

See how nice and fair you are?

Still, wouldn't it be great if Jenna wins it all and my preseason pick is correct? Ah, spoiling glory. And without spoilers too.

Corvis. Spoiling God.

Okay, okay, onto this week. It's the pivotal five person episode.

When you put it like that, it almost makes spoiling sound sexy. PIVOTAL. You know. Pivots have points and stuff. And then there's the numbers. Which will be the twosome? Who will have the threeway?

What were we talking about again?

Ahem. We have two alliances of two - Jenna and Rupert, who are getting to the point where they can't stand each other, and Rob and Amber, who are picking out china patterns.

They are darned schmushy. Hey, if you use a term on a public website, does it not, in a de facto sort of way, automatically become a word?

Schmushy, schmushy, schmushy ...

It worked for Shakespeare. Well, except the internet part.

I think Billy Bud would have loved the internet. But which word were you referring to?

Do you have any idea how many words Shakespeare is responsible for? Let me consult our resident Shakespeare expert, RodgerDodger.

That's not an easy question, and nobody really knows the answer. You sometimes see figures of around 2000, which were obtained by going through the Oxford English Dictionary and counting all the words for which the first citation is to Shakespeare. The problem with that is that the people who compiled the citations for the OED in the 19th and early 20th centuries were much more familiar with Shakespeare than with other authors of the time, and had concordances for Shakespeare but not for other authors, so that Shakespeare is vastly overrepresented in the citations relative to his contemporaries. People have gone through samples of the words supposedly "coined" by Shakespeare in this way and shown that for nearly all of them, it's possible to find earlier uses of the word by other authors. And even if you could prove that a given word was never used in print before Shakespeare used it, that doesn't necessarily mean that he invented it -- just that he was the first to use it in print, which is not the same thing since new words are always used in speech before they reach print.

But that doesn't mean that Shakespeare didn't *popularize* a lot of words, especially with later generations who read his plays in print. Popularization is a very fuzzy concept, of course, but I think you could say without much fear of contradiction that Shakespeare invented or popularized hundreds of words in the English language. Sorry if that's too vague, but that's about as well as it's possible to answer that question.

Week 13 and HS/SS finally gets a special guest commentator.

Damn, that boy's smart, ain't he? And he has a kickin' earring.

But back to surVIVEor ...

Right, right. So which one do you think might be in danger of falling apart? Rupert and Jenna? Or Rob and Amber?

*cracks knucles*

We had your chickie Shii Shii Shii trying to sow discontent against Amber. Will her attempt to shake up the tribe work?

Probably not.

OF COURSE NOT. Nothing ever, EVER shakes up Survivor. That is what made Rob C's manipulations so frigging sexy in Survivor 6....

This was sexy to you?

Shut up, I'm in a mood. Rob C. played the game. If there is one thing about this season that I have really enjoyed, it's that Amber is no longer Laaaaaaamber. Girlfriend came to play. Although I have to agree with Shii Shii Shii that her big green innocent eye act is getting old.

Anyway, what were you saying?

Well, the preview is all about Tom and Rupert fighting and it looks like Rob is the "Instigator" of the fight.

Sounds to me like he may have busted in on a little strategy session he wasn't meant to hear. And if there is one plus to all of this, he now has an "excuse" to send Tom home, whereas before it would have been a knife in a back.

One of the two big men are going home.

Yep.

The question is which one?

The mind boggles.

I think it comes down to one thing - who does Rob Mariano trust more?

Lil Rob.

And that person is Rupert.

Or Rupert.

Rob knows all about Tom's plan to switch to Lex's side. The only reason that didn't happen was because Lex was an idiot and kept Amber in the game and booted Jerri.

Dumbest.Move.Ever.

Rupert will remain loyal. He is another Rudy. He will keep his word.

Second.Dumbest.Move.Ever.

Amber will go along with the plan because it really doesn't matter to her which one of them goes. Her strategy is working perfectly.

It is working perfectly. She's playing Jerri's game better than Jerri ever did. If you want to win a million bucks, you have to use every weopon at your disposal. She used two of 'em. Quite effectively.

Shii Ann got it right when she pointed out the most dangerous person left in the game. It's not Big Tom, god knows.

Can I just add in here for the record how grateful I am that we missed out on the "family visit" in S3? I don't know how many more seasons of "Bucky Bo" I could take. That name! What were they thinking?

Scary. Very scary. Anyway, it's not Rupert, whose just too emotional to play the game right

No shit. Talk about your conjugal visits. We almost had a "Surivor First" that none of us was emotionally prepared for, that's for damned sure.

It's not Jenna, who will win only if she somehow manages to come up with a great Final Two performance.

Which is why all of my body parts are safe ...

And it's not even Rob, who has the biggest target on his back and has also been the bad guy for each boot. No, Shii Ann was right. The biggest threat out there is Amber. Sweet, little, invisible oh-my-god Amber.

Oh My Gawd! Gag me with a SPOON! TOTALLY!

I hope she doesn't win.

I sort of feel the same way. Actually, I think any of the remaining Survivors deserve a win for various different reasons. My heard is with Rob Mariano, though. He's played a near-perfect game.

And it'll be Tom going home this week.

Yep!

The Mind of Corvis:

Shaba's Score:

Episode 10

Shaba:
*cracks knuckles*

Okay, kids. It's time for "She Said," the funny, witty, slightly less "grammar intensive" portion of this column.

You see, I'm not a writer. (NO ... REALLY!) I'm here for the funny. Well, that and I'm the only one around here who gets away with saying stuff like "Corvis is a ... " .... oh, I don't know, the man is sick, you think up a humorous insult and I'll just nod my head and say, "Yeah, that's what I meant" and Corvis will be cool with it.

Because I'm charming.

Corvis:
Lex is the stupidest player to ever walk on a Survivor island.

There, you see? You can't just say that he's the stupidest player to ever walk on a Survivor Island. Because that's Brandon.

Although technically speaking, Kenya isn't an island. So maybe you have a point, there.

Regardless, you could say something like, "Lex! Dude! This time, you slit your own throat! There's a rat in your tribe, only the rat has stolen your cheese and the last few remaining brain cells that weren't fried by whatever you've been smoking in the Bay Area. Because everyone knows about the back yard action in the Bay Area. I'll say no more.

Except ... you are the stupidest player to ever walk on a Survivor Island.

Okay, so you have two points.

Last time around, which, as Shaba pointed out, wasn't on an island, he went spooky crazy because he got ONE vote he wasn't expecting.

This lead to destroying his alliance and if there had been smart people on the other side, he'd have lost it all. Fortunately, Brandon was stupider than Lex.

Ah, yes, Brandon. The schmuck. Although you have to admit that Kim P was pretty damned dumb, too. The only reason anyone from Boran won S3 is because the other Survivors on the other tribe bent over backwards to GIVE the million bucks away.

So the fact that Lex got anywhere near the F3 just amazed me at the time. He won't get that far this time.

And this season, he has made his tribe terribly weak by eliminating Rich, Colby, and Ethan.

Meh. I was actuallly impressed that he did it. I was concerned that Lex would try to keep the "Old Boy Network" strategy that he had the last time. And I don't think he coud win in a F2 situation against either Colby or Ethan.

He should have used Hatch. The fact that it didn't occur to ANYONE that Rich was the perfect goat is just unbelievable.

They kept losing challenges... gee, I wonder why?

Two words: Rob Mariano. He's playing this game like a man possessed. And everyone is kow-towning to him, even people on the other tribe! Now that's some serious alpha male action!

I don't get why everyone is worried about Rob. Maybe they think he connections with that Soprano family on HBO or something. Anyway, Lex, you used to be a favorite. I forgave your stupidity during Africa. But no more. Voting out Jerri, who was completely loyal to you and only you, and keeping Amber was the worst move ever. You deserve to be booted. Soon!

I already miss my girl, Jerri. She's a drama queen after my own heart.

So what happens this week?

Well, Corvis, I think the red head kid and Camille Velasco are in deep, DEEP trouble.

Crocodile Rock? What was he thinking? And no one has any business singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" unless one is driving down a very long highway, singing at the top of one's lungs. And no one is around to be traumatised by same.

I liked that John Stevens, Mr. Red Hair, tried to have some fun. I mean, he's going home soon anyway; he might as well have some fun before he gets the heave-ho. But I agree that Goodbye Yellow Brick Road was very painful.

So, um, I may be sick, but I think this column is about Survivor.

Oh. You mean surVIVEor. Carry on.

So anyway, they merge. Kathy goes home.

I'm thinking he is going to tell us "why."

Why? Shii Ann, while damn hot in a bikini, is no threat.

Well, Shii Ann isn't an immunity threat, but she is a vote. And many Survivors have ignored stray voters to their own peril. Shii Ann is chaff, they would do well to seperate her from the wheat before she takes root. Or did I just mix a metaphor?

Lex will get a one episode reprieve since he acquiesced to King Mariano's proclamation that the Princess Amber must be spared.

Ooooh. He just used the word "acquiesed" in a sentence.

I spelled it correctly, too. Anyway, Alicia is, of course, living on borrowed time, but she doesn't have the brains to see that or to do anything about it.

Another in a very long list of folks to be falling all over themselves to kiss Rob Mariano's ass. Sheesh! Is that boy playing this game or what?

(And on a quasi-related note, did anyone else out there go weak in the knees as Rob's sweet, puppy-like brown eyes filled with tears imagining Amber "alone out there?")

So yeah, they merge and Kathy gets the heave-ho with her pretty new buff.

Well, based on the previews, the gut call is to say "Rob is in trouble." That tells me he is perfectly safe. I'm guessing that Rob will "save" Lex this epi in return for keeping Amber alive for another week. And since I don't see any reason for the original Chapera members to turn on each other so quickly, I'm guessing that the bootie will be either Kathy or Shii Ann.

What the heck. Put me down for "Kathy," too.

Feel better, Corvis!

The Mind of Corvis:

Shaba's Score:

Episode 9

Corvis:
Well, that recap deserved to be called a recrap. The only interesting part was Amber's impersonation of Tina. And Rob C. does a great Jeff Probst.

Shaba:
Oh, that Tina impersonation was the funniest thing that Amber has said in either series she's appeared in. Still, what does it say when a chick with implants stuffs her bikini top to make her implants look even bigger to impersonate someone else with implants?

Is there such a thing as "implant envy?"

The next real episode looks like a pivotal one. There is definitely some sort of twist going on.

Let's twist again, like we did last summer ...

And we know Amber feels she got screwed by the twist.

I'm wondering why no one is taking the literal interpretation of "getting screwed." Maybe she does stay on the same tribe as Rob and gets ... erm, is this supposed to be a "family friendly" column?

There’s a vidcap of the trivia immunity challenge which shows Rob, Alicia, Tom, Jenna, and Rupert sitting together coming up with an answer. Amber is missing. It seems likely she ends up on a tribe with Lex, Jerri, Kathy, and Shii Ann.

Gah! This week is driving me nuts. Because if Jerri has a red buff, what is she doing sitting so close with Shii Ann, who clearly is wearing a green buff?

Can you say colorized buff? We also get a voice over saying “but a bizarre twist will drive one castaway to do the unbelievable.” Rob talks about his next move having serious consequences. What could Rob do that would be unbelievable?

Again, let's go for the obvious. I think Rob has to resort to ... ahem ... desperate measures because his cutie is on a different tribe.

As in "How about throw a challenge?"

As in, how about a lil private time in the bushes with Lil Rob?

The Bostonian has been defined this season by two storylines: his relationship with Amber and the way he has lead his tribe to victory in challenge after challenge.

I think you may be overlooking the obvious, Corvis.

For the sake of the first storyline, he will attempt to the end the second.

Ha! No way. Rob has spent the last two years bitter as all get out because he got tossed before he could be an individual immunity challenge whore. No way is he going to give that up for a chick. I'll bet you. Loser makes the winner waffles.

However, Rob won’t have to try to throw the challenge – it’s a trivia challenge! Heh. Rob will naturally suck at it anyway.

Everyone keeps saying that ... but if it's a team challenge, does it really matter if Rob sucks?

So who will win it? That’s the million dollar question.

See what inflation does? It used to be a mere $64,000 question.

You're showing your age there, Shaba. I would normally give the edge to Mogo Mogo in this sort of challenge. They have Lex, Shii Ann, and Kathy, who all strike me as people with good memories. However, the story arc suggests a different boot.

Not to mention that we have no freaking clue as to who will be on which tribe?

Last episode (not the recap) I think we saw the climax of the Rob and Amber story. They kissed, they got the nice music, each had their confessional about the relationship.

Boom, chicka boom, chicka boom, chicka boom

(Paraphrasing here)

Rob: It'd be nice to get the million dollars and take the girl home, too.

Awwww. That's so schmushy.

Amber: At first stringing him along was strategy, but now I've gotten into it. I am 99.9 % certain I can trust him.

Awwww. That's so bitchy and sad.

This episode we will see the denoument.

Awwww. I love it when you use big words.

The vidcaps as well as Amber's comments indicate she ends up separated from Rob. We are being set up for a sad ending to the romance.

Well, there is the question as to WHY they took so long to really get into the nitty gritty of the relationship. I mean, come on. TV Guide?

So perhaps she gets booted next episode because she is the minority in a newly formed tribe.

Nah, I don't think it will be that extreme. If she was the boot, why would EPM hand it to us on a silver platter by saying she gets screwed in the preview? It's misdirection, I tell ya.

I think Amber has surprise boot written all over her. Unfortunately, it got washed off during the non-reward challenge.

I think Jerri winds up on a tribe without Lex to protect her. And since these people don't seem to recognize the ideal F2 partner when they see her, I think it might finally be time for my girl's swan song.

Buh Bye, Jerri.

I agree and disagree with you. I think Jerri is still on Lex's tribe. So are Kathy and Shii Ann. And Amber. Lex and the ladies. Everyone think it's Amber who's going to get booted. And then... surprise! Kathy gets Shii Ann to jump ship with her and Jerri is gone. Or maybe Lex even turns on her too.

So I agree with Buh Bye, Jerri. But I wish it were Amber going home.

The Mind of Corvis:

Shaba's Score:

Episode 8

Week eight of Survivor: All Stars.

Shaba:
Gah! There's a spider on my wall. You're going to have to wait a fricking minute.

Corvis:
You need to get past this whole fear of spiders thing. Anyway, poor Colby. He never knew what hit him.

Neither did that spider. He's dead.

You killed a spider? I am shocked. And impressed. Anyway, it was a strange move, really. I say they should have gotten rid of Ethan instead and kept their alliance intact.

Bah. Colby is a challenge whore and a Mr. Bossy Britches. They were absolutely 100% correct to get rid of him

I don’t get why Ethan is still there.

Good hair?

We know that's not it. He’s been in danger since day 1. I think Lex just wanted to make a power play for the sake of making a power play.

At least no one had their throat cut.

Anyway… who goes this week?

Clearly, the Pen Boy, the red head cutie and the chick with the pink hair are in DEEP trouble.

I don't think any of those three will be in the bottom group. All had good performances. But, um, this isn't American Idol Predictions...

Oh. You mean SurVIVor.

I usually do. At Chapera, Alicia is still on the outside and will be the boot if they go to Tribal Council.

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders will go to Tribal Council before Chapera does.

The fact that they’ve made that so clear makes me think Chapera isn’t going to TC this week. They are not going to telegraph the boot so clearly.

Break out the pom-poms and go-go boots, kids!

So let’s look at Mogo Mogo again.

If we must ...

Lex, Shii Ann and Kathy have an alliance. Jerri’s desire for revenge was used to get rid of Colby.

Now wasn't that a great moment for my girl, Jerri? Damn, can you imagine her lying awake, night after night, the image of Colby throwing her in the dirt, dousing her with water, etc, etc, etc and plotting her revenge. Usually, one has to count on karma for this sort of payback.

Still ... Colby disappoints me. He had the chance to really rip on Jerri as he cast that vote against her and instead, he just flourished the vote and remained mute. WTF?

Like his momma always says, "Gimme some sugar..." Wait, no that's not it. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." There ya go. Anyway, Ethan was totally out of the loop. Again.

But at least he's got that amazingly wonderful, naturally curly hair!

I repeat – it’s amazing he’s still around

So tell me, Corvis. Are you amazed he's still around?

Will this be the episode he goes down in flames? Well, it wouldn’t surprise me. However, I think Jerri is the next to go.

No!

The only reason Lex was able to get away with the Colby boot last time was because Kathy was gone. She'll be back for this boot and she'll make the decision for her alliance.

Do you REALLY think Kathy is in charge of the LexMobile? Hell, she desperately wanted to get rid of Colby the last go 'round, but caved because she didn't want to anger Lex.

We know Kathy can’t stand Jerri.

Meh. A ten second sound bite in the middle of a confessional. She might have been asked to describe her feelings about everyone. Kathy can and will make any sort of deal to get ahead in the game.

And everyone knows Ethan is not going to win so really there's no harm in leaving him around for a little bit longer. He's got the target on his back. He's not going to win every individual immunity post merge. He didn't win any (maybe one?) in his season. Lex won the lion's share. So Kathy returns, finds her boy toy is gone, and takes charge.

If so, she's taking charge of a sinking ship.

Shii Ann will blindly follow whoever is running things.

Baby, baby. Where did your spine go?

Lex had his fun last episode and will snap back into line especially since Ethan was his ally from Africa. Ethan will be thrilled that he gets to survive another day.

Lex is thinking "merge." Ethan is a likeable winner. Lex may decide to boot his ass and keep the less likeable Jerri and Shii. The question is if he can get the merry gang of los... erm, Mogos to go along with him.

So this is the episode we should be hearing Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead! Tom, you were two episodes too early.

Bye-bye, Ethan!

The Mind of Corvis:

Shaba's Score:

Episode 7

Week seven of Survivor: All Stars.

Corvis:
I don’t know what to think about the Sue thing from last week, so I am moving on. Still can’t believe she quit, though.

Shaba:
I think it's a girl thing. I can think of many, many times in my life where someone has said something that I laughed off when it happened, but that bothered me intensely later on. I think the fact that it was a friend who did this to her just made it all the worse in Sue's eyes. My heart goes out to her. I believed her.

Okay, I now know what to think. I blame all of this on Osten.

The whiny baby with the most sculpted body ever on Survivor quits because it's just too hard. And the floodgates open. Jenna Morasca quits. Sue Hawk quits. This is nuts. The game is called SURVIVOR, people! You don't freakin' quit. No matter what. Jay-sus.
So anyway...at Chapera, it’s easy to predict who goes – Alicia.

I concur.

She’s not in Rob's "Ethan's Leftovers (And Rupert) Alliance".

And she’s not in the final three alliance with Tom, Amber and Rob. Chapera loses again and Alicia is gone.

Poor Alicia. It must have killed her to see her Final 2 partner walk off arm-in-arm with Jeffy P to that boat waiting offshore. They just didn't prepare her for this in Survivor: Australia. Back then, you either got voted off or you fell into a fire, for goodness sake!

Of course, I have Alicia going much further than pre-merge boot, so I don’t think Chapera goes to Tribal Council this week.

Smart man.

And Shaba, don’t you have Alicia as your winner?

Why yes, I do. I think she will stick around past the merge and go on quite the immunity run. As long as it doesn't get too mental, my girl is still good in this game.

Besides, revealed strategies never work.

So let’s look at Mogo Mogo.

Something that has become much easier since Rich de-camped. BAMBOOZLED!

Lex and Kathy have an alliance and Shii Ann appears to be in on it too. In fact, Kathy didn’t vote out Colby because Lex wanted Richard gone and she didn’t want to anger the tattooed one.

Smart move, Kathy. (Unless you take into account that you've aligned with a lunatic.)

Apparently she remembers what happened to Kelly in Survivor: Africa after Lex went nutso.

Exactly. If you are actually *afraid* of your Final 2 partner, it's time to rethink your game strategy.

A number of people (*cough* Shii Ann *cough*) were annoyed at cowboy Colby for taking the reins during the Richard boot plan.

Cowboy. Reins. Boot. Heh. You are quite the wit, you writing stud, you.

Ethan is the newcomer to the tribe, has terrible hair, and is a previous winner, so he’s in danger

Oh, but I love Ethan's hair! He reminds me of that gorgeous Italian virgin boy in "Stealing Beauty".

(And I challenge you to find a picture of same).

This guy? Ah, the wonders of Google.

The preview is all about how everyone hates Jerri, so she’s definitely safe. Come on, when does the obvious person ever get booted?

My girl Jerri is an absolute lock to stick around this episode. I have no sources, just a gut call. Dammit, Lex! Get out of my head!

So Ethan or Colby?

[stagewhipser]Colby[/stagewhisper]

Well, let’s see… Shii Ann can’t stand “Captain America”. Jerri wanted to boot him her old nemesis two episodes ago. Lex has bonded with Colby, but he knows Ethan needs him more, and he knows he can trust the soccer player. Kathy won’t care if it’s Ethan or Colby. Both are good boots in her eyes since they’re challenge hogs. I think it’s gotta be Colby, the man who knows all about close shaves.

Didn't I say that already? And it's all for the best, really. Colby's breasts are starting to sag more than Kathy's for crying out loud. This man has an acting career to think of, man. To think of all those unsold razors in Hollywood!
The Mind of Corvis:

Shaba's Score:

Episode 6 Outraged

Week six of Survivor: All Stars.

Shaba:
Okay, face it. As much as CBS might wish it otherwise, last week was all about whether Ethan or Rich has the bigger ... erm, fish.

Corvis:
So that whole Richard/Sue thing from last week. I really didn't think it was all that big of a deal. It certainly didn't measure up to the warning they put on the screen.

Talk about your "much ado about nuttin." I've experienced far worse groping on the NYC subway.

Anyway, everyone knows Sue goes this week.

But I don't think it's all about Richard. I think Tom adds fuel to Sue's fire.

And I don't think she'll quit outright. I think there will be a Tribal Council.

Meh. I'll be disappointed if Sue quits. She's a bigger person than that.

And really that's all I got to say this week.

Ditto!

Bye, Susan.

Adios!

The Mind of Corvis:

Shaba's Score:

Episode 5 I've been bamboozled

Corvis:
Poor Rob C. I don’t think I have ever seen anyone as disappointed as he was when his name was read the second time at Tribal Council. You saw the pain etched on his face and I felt bad for him.

Shaba:
I will miss Rob C in this game. Rob M is now my Great Hope for entertainment in this show. Well, Rich, too. Damn, he's been his usual, hilarious self. I love his confidence.

That said, he made the wrong move in trusting the Robfather.

Yeah, he went from being the "Best Ever To Play the Game" to "Yo! Lemming! Get Your Lemmings Here." Since when does Rob C make ONE deal and stick to it? He should have been all over the place. Did he watch S4? Of course Rob M was going to get rid of any potential Alpha Male. Rob C is no Hunter, but he is still A) A guy and B) A player. There wasn't any reason for Rob M to keep Rob C around.

And isn't it a wonderful thing that we can finally stop typing all these fricking initials?

Did he miss Alicia and Rob M. and Amber being all cuddle city in the shelter? Oh well. I would much rather have seen “Skamber” get it (thanks for the great name, Rob C!).

*snicker*

Onto this week. Should be very interesting.

You're telling me. That rendition of "All By Myself" sent chills down my spine. And the pen saleman dude just absolutely rocks my world. I could do without the pink haired chick. I mean, pink is an awesome color, but hair? That is just too much.

You're crazy! I loved the pink haired chick.

And Mr. Pen Salesman was terrible. The final singer of the night was amazing. On that we agree. What annoyed me most was the fact that there were at least four top ten people tonight and zero last week. Two people are going to get the shaft tomorrow and that sucks. But anyway...Survivor...

Oh. You mean SurVIVEor. Meh. Carry on.

The previews tell us the tribe that loses the RC will be dissolved. Ouch!

They can't dissolve three tribes already! I've been waiting 7 seasons for this.

And the RC involves building a raft. So who loses and is dissolved?

[stagewhisper] The Wicked Witch of the West.[/stagewhisper]

You mean her?

Or her?

Anyway, I don’t think it’s Chapera that ends up disbanded. Carpenter guy Rob M. can probably build a good raft.

I can't believe that this Rob M. (and that's the last ti*e I'm typing the letter M in this article) is the sa*e guy who sucked it up so badly as part of the *ara*uu tribe. Or whatever it was called.

So it’s either Mogo Mogo or Saboga. We have caps of Saboga acting very happy. Does Mogo Mogo lose and get disbanded? That was my initial guess.

I don't know. I sort of get the feeling that Saboga is going to fold on this one. They just haven't bonded as a tribe. Building a raft and *anning it takes lots of tea*work.

And like you, everyone on the internet believes that it's Saboga that gets disbanded. So okay, fine, it's Saboga. So, some Sabogans join Chapera and some join Mogo Mogo, right? I think join is too strong of a word. I think we’ll see another fake out like in Thailand.

(You remember the fake merge, right, Shii Ann?)

Thought so...

So the Sabogans are separated and live with the Chaperans and Mogo Mogoans, but do not join their tribes. The IC will be three tribes battling again.

I agree. It doesn't really *atter which tribe gets dissolved. It will all be back as it was. Three tribes rulz!

Who wins? It’s a strength and balance challenge. We see Ethan get hammered pretty good by Rob M. And Rob M. looks like he might be out of the white “strike area”. Is he disqualified? Probably. We also see Tom fall in the water. Another vidcap shows Rich taking out Jenna L.

Mogo Mogo has Rich, Lex, and Colby. Saboga has Rupert and Ethan. Chapera has Robfather and Tom. Brute strength is with Mogo Mogo. Since balance comes into play, I think Saboga has an advantage with Jerri and Jenna. Mogo Mogo has Shii Ann and Kathy. That doesn’t look good. Chapera has Amber, Sue, and Alicia. Of those three, only Amber strikes me as someone with good balance.

I think it’s going to be close, but I am going with Mogo Mogo winning this one and Saboga coming in second. Which means Chapera hits TC again! Sue is the outsider. Rob C. mentioned in post show interviews that he really likes Sue. Kiss of death! However, there is this line from one of the previews: But the big shocker is who's going home at the end.

Uh-huh. So*ehow, I don't think we're getting off this easy. Keep on reading, folks.

So if that’s true, and that’s a big if, Sue cannot go home. And no one else from Chapera is going to get booted. So I must be wrong and Chapera doesn’t lose the IC!

Corvis? Wrong? What a shock.

Oh no!

Oh yes!

Now what do I do?

Do what I do: Take a bubble bath. Failing that, a pedicure works wonders.

Let’s rewind a little bit…

Or we could rewind a little bit...

Mogo Mogo has Rich, Lex, and Colby. Saboga has Rupert and Ethan. Chapera has Robfather and Tom. Brute strength is with Mogo Mogo….

I don't see Rich naturally equaling "brute strength," but carry on.

Wait! I forgot about the other strong person on Chapera! Alicia.

She can easily kick Lex’s, Richard’s and Ethan’s asses. She’d give Colby and Rupert a run for their money. So hmmm. Perhaps Alicia is the x-factor that ensures Chapera does not hit TC again.

I think you also left Sue out of your equation.

Bah to Susan. She just thinks she's strong. Anyway, who goes to Tribal Council Treehouse of Horror - Mogo Mogo or Saboga? I think when you’ve got just four people on a tribe, they are going to fight and fight and fight some more. Mogo Mogo will lose, but it will be damn close.

I'm all zen-happy with the idea of *ogo*ogo getting the nod.

Boot possibilities… Richard. Lex. Kathy. Shii Ann. Or Colby.

I think the one that would be most shocking is Colby.

Ditto! I'm thinking Colby. There's no real reason for anyone currently on the *ogo*ogo tribe to keep hi* around. Given the way the nu*bers are dropping and the fact there has already been one twist, I think it's ti*e to start unloading potential challenge-whores. Particularly if your na*e is Lex.

I am going with the momma’s boy. Colby goes home.

But we have so*e lovely parting gifts for you. Hear that sound? It's check-out ti*e. If wishes and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a *erry Christ*as. Buh-bye!

The Mind of Corvis:

Shaba's Score:

Episode 4 Wipe Out!

Corvis and Shaba give us a "Siskel and Ebert" style approach as they discuss the game and give predictions. Corvis is in black font while Shaba is in red

Corvis:
Wow. Last episode was emotional, huh?

Shaba:
That show was a hard one for me to watch. Even knowing what was coming, it was tough.

My brother was saying that Jenna must have received some information from someone that her mother had taken a turn for the worse, but I totally believe she really had a premonition and knew she had to get home. That stuff happens.

Ummm. Sure, stuff happens, but I think EPM was keeping her informed. And I applaud him for it. To have kept her in the dark that her mother was dying is beyond the pale for anyone. If SEG was aware of it, they would have let her know.

If they were keeping her informed, they would have said so. Why lie about it? Oh, and could you believe Alicia’s bitchy comments? Ugh. That girl dropped way down the list of my favorites.

Alicia was never what I would call "a favorite." I still think she could win the game on respect votes, but I'm not sure that I like her as a person. Too much negativity and New Yawk Girl finger wagging. I know several dozen chicks just like her back in New York City. Watching her on TV every week is enough to give a girl flashbacks.

And so has Shii Ann really.

Shaba:

For one thing, her pseudo intellectual “Hemingway-esque” comment made me groan.

Shaba:

This is why people don’t like you, Shii Ann.

*Takes out thermometer, dials 911*

You’re a cool chick. Not everything out of your mouth has to sound Pulitzer prize worthy.

CODE BLUE!! CODE BLUE!!

And I have to admit I was totally wrong.

Oh. This is good. Say that again?

Just absolutely, abjectly wrong, wrong, wrong.

Okay, "He Said" just can't get any better than this.

Richard Hatch is a naked fishing stud.

Okay, so I was wrong. It can get better.

The biggest shock for me in this last episode is not that Jerri and Rupert got into a fight. We all knew that was coming. The surprise came in that Rupert was just so WRONG. Jerri came off sounding reasonable and articulate, whereas Rupert sounded a bit silly, shrill, egotistical and just flat-out mean.

Yeah, Jerri did sound more sane than Rupert, but really that's not saying much. He was acting like a nut. Now we can understand why his Morgan tribemates were annoyed with the hero editing he got the first time around.

Anyway… this episode should be interesting in that I don’t think we’ll see the same tribe at Tribal Council again. A new group is going to take the dreaded boat to the Treehouse Council of Horror.

Nicely put. And I agree.

Will it be Mogo Mogo? Or Chapera?

*mutters yet another non-sequitor about the stupidity of the tribal names this season*

I'm not sure. Let’s look at Mogo Mogo first. Jenna gave us a clue about alliances in her post boot chat on the Early Show. She had an alliance with Shii Ann and Kathy and felt close to Lex too. Richard mentioned on an earlier episode that Colby and he had a discussion about aligning. So that makes it look like we have Shii Ann and Kathy on one side and Colby and Richard on the other with Lex swinging in the middle. Which way will Lex go? I am betting he’ll side with the women. And Richard has been really annoying so he has got to be a target for the boot. Still Colby has been portrayed as the loner and he’s not getting the shark for dinner, so the momma’s boy might be targeted.

Over at Chapera, it’s clear that Rob C. or Sue is in trouble. Rob M. and Amber have an alliance and probably a lot more… Alicia has commented that Rob C. is lazy. Even though Alicia is kind of obnoxious around camp, you still see her hanging with Rob M. and Amber, having a good time.

Tom is everybody’s buddy and is not making waves. Tom had the Sue is driving me crazy confessional, but I don’t think he’s going to throw his weight around and get her booted. Sue has isolated herself from the tribe, but she’s a huge asset in challenges. Rob C. has the reputation of master game player. And Rob C. is the closest thing to a winner this tribe has to target. Sue and Tom got fourth place, Amber was sixth or so, Alicia and Rob M. got booted right around the merge. Rob would have won the whole thing if he hadn't lost at the final immunity challenge. Robfather wants to get rid of the strategist and Amber goes along. Alicia wants to eliminate the weakest and the laziest tribe member. Big Tom doesn't care as long as it's not him. Sue probably realizes that she's on the outside looking in and is willing to boot anyone to save herself.Tom is everybody’s buddy and is not making waves. Rob C., if Chapera goes to Tribal Council, you are outta there.

So who will lose the Immunity Challenge? It looks like it’s going to be one of those yell at the blindfolded people until they do the right thing challenges. We have seen from vidcaps that Richard is the caller for Mogo Mogo. For Chapera, it’s either Alicia or Sue. I bet it’s Alicia. Sue’s place in the tribe is such that she wouldn’t be chosen for that important job. Alicia vs. Richard as caller? I think Richard will be much better at that. Alicia will lose her cool if someone makes a mistake. Richard will stay calm. Mogo Mogo wins it.

Is he done yet? Okay, here's the deal, folks. I'll keep it simple. Richard Hatch got some real "Hail the Conquering Hero" editing in the last episode. EPM relishes in making Rich look like a first-class idiot. I got a great big whiff of the "Bye-Bye, We'll Miss Ya" odor we've all come to know and love over the years.

Fact is, the second Mogo Mogo goes to TC, Richard Hatch is going home. I don't care if he lands Moby Dick, the Great White Whale.

Another fact is that Rupert is going to be shown the door next time Saboga goes to TC. For Rupert to last longer than Rich, Rich will have to go sooner rather than later.

Bye bye, Rob Cesternino.

Buh-bye, Rich!

The Mind of Corvis:

Shaba's Score: